shoulda,woulda

its never easy to let go off something that u dear the most. wots the words cud i say?this has been a great year indeed.to have something to look forward to every single day. but this is, seems to me, too good to last.and then when the time comes, i have to let go everything.bla bla bla.still hard for me, though this has happened for the some-only god knows-times.but deep inside i know well that i have to be stronger and "healthier" and -please allow me to say this- insaner.haha.thought that things are better left as they are.let them be remain a mistery even to myself.mebbe god doesnt allow things to happen now.and i'll never know when the better time will come.a friend told me that "so what?" bout everything that happen to me.will i stay like this?or not.that is absolutely my choice.my decision.some things are surely going to happen, its just the matter that u want it to happen now or later.

really should comprehend and accept everything. i really should.thought i would.thought i could.