One aNd OnLy: NenG RaNeY

what?

2008-01-21T04:23:00.000-08:00

whats wrong with this link? i should at least can online well. :(

january 2008

2008-01-21T03:36:00.000-08:00

whew, finnaly i could some writing here again:P...
january 2008, wot a scary time :P
but at least some things are back on the ground.
scary...scary...scary...yep,but i can't have things otherwise.
i just hope that they dont get angry with me,coz i do things differently now. i have to and i want to :)

not me!

2007-08-23T03:19:00.000-07:00

blagghh it happened again! so stupid me...so damn hard to be innocent :)tried my best to ignore but at some point i just cant help myself of being who i am.thought i was right, thought i was clever enough. thought i was good enough. but i was wrong.well, i couldnt avoid things that was supposed to happen. who am i dare to question such thing?just keep the (little) faith that i've always have.and leave the rest not to me. to somebody, something, someone else. but not to me.

takes two to tangO

2007-07-27T02:06:00.001-07:00

space between the lines.takes two to tango people say.i really try.blewllp.....

wow!

2007-07-27T01:47:00.000-07:00

phew...wot a coincidence...this is totally unpredictable...gotta get used to it.

2007-05-14T02:51:00.000-07:00

what was she thinkin ya? couldnt blame her entirely. it could happened to anyone, anytime i guess. yet, it shocked me i guess. such decision..couldnt talk things the way we used to be.she's changed. of course she is.she has to.

the thing is

tuink tuink

2007-03-30T03:31:00.000-07:00

u bring me closer to heart attack!!!

i cant stand the thought of it huahhhhh......how can i do that?

ThaT's NoT tHAt eaSY

2007-02-26T00:32:00.000-08:00

hmm...wot sud i tell u???dont u get it?
that's not that easy u know...

cekikiKAn Gak JeLAsss...

2007-02-26T00:23:00.000-08:00

gini, masalahnya mereka perlu dikasih tau. kalu engga, ntar malah tambah ngaco aja.cekikikan gak jelas aja.dodol.terserah juga mereka mau mikir apa. they do their job, im doin mine.kalau ada yang gak suka, bilang aja, jangan pura-pura gak ada apa2 tapi bete dibelakang.ya kasihan aja sama orang-orang kayak gitu, suffer in silence lagee...huehheee....

9wesT

2007-02-16T02:00:00.000-08:00

NIne West nya kerennNNN bangEttt.....warnanya putih ...bagus dee...tapi kayaknya haknya terlalu tinggi yah?

tentang gReY's AnaTomY

2007-02-16T01:54:00.000-08:00

grey's anatomy seru juga.mirip ER.meredith nya cantik sekali.trus mcdreamy juga menawan (waks). tapi kayaknya sih lebih banyak menunjukan kehidupan personal dokter2nya daripada medication itu sendiri. anyway, bagus kok.apalagi DVD nya juga minjem hehehe..

Do You KnoW whEre iS CuPid Now?

2007-02-16T01:43:00.000-08:00

wot d'ya think?
a. cupid is dead, and romance is probably dying somewhere
b. cupid is just probably on holiday that he might forget us mortals
c. cupid is resigning currently (and he might be reassign)
d. cupid is probably fall in love himself that he forgets to spread love with his arrow and bow

feedback:
a. hmm..u re giving up
b. well, u cud be rite
c. you're hopeful person
d. this is kinda impossible...

confused mood on...

2006-12-21T23:13:00.001-08:00

the year almost ends.people comes and goes.have made some friends and foes.been happy and sad at almost the same time.expected things failed just like that.dont know why.less expect some people say.should try more.really?dunno feel certain bout many things still.let wait and see.

shoulda,woulda

2006-12-19T01:05:00.000-08:00

its never easy to let go off something that u dear the most. wots the words cud i say?this has been a great year indeed.to have something to look forward to every single day. but this is, seems to me, too good to last.and then when the time comes, i have to let go everything.bla bla bla.still hard for me, though this has happened for the some-only god knows-times.but deep inside i know well that i have to be stronger and "healthier" and -please allow me to say this- insaner.haha.thought that things are better left as they are.let them be remain a mistery even to myself.mebbe god doesnt allow things to happen now.and i'll never know when the better time will come.a friend told me that "so what?" bout everything that happen to me.will i stay like this?or not.that is absolutely my choice.my decision.some things are surely going to happen, its just the matter that u want it to happen now or later.

really should comprehend and accept everything. i really should.thought i would.thought i could.

wHeN tHere'S me And YoU

2006-12-13T01:42:00.000-08:00

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there

Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song
Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe thatI could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was fallingAnd I didn't mind
Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

blaaghhh2

2006-12-06T18:47:00.000-08:00

got headache.very bad.thinkin bout things.they've been floating in my minds.so sick hfffhh...should've let it go while i could.

gotta comprehend, understand, accept thing as they are?blaaghhh....

FaDe aWaY

2006-09-19T05:35:00.001-07:00

sebenarnya dia itu kenapa ya?aneh bener jadinya.wong aku nya biasa aja siy, dia nya aja yang aneh.kayak jadi segan gitu.berubah.padahal gak ada yang maksa juga dia harus begini begitu.terserah aja siy.i'll fade away deh.

hiKs

2006-09-19T05:21:00.000-07:00

duh kalau sering sering lembur gawat nih. kurus.kurus.kurus.akibatnya.konsekuensi dari sebuah pilihan memang harus dihadapi.hiks.yo wis lah.mungkin ini cuma sementara.prosesnya memang harus dilewati.sedihnya begitu.this cudnt get worse lah.cos this already the worst.hiks

LInGEr

2006-09-19T04:25:00.000-07:00

ini dia lagu yang sedang saya sukai (lagi)

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger D
o you have to, do you have to do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

a coNveRsatiOn with GoD

2006-07-06T03:23:00.000-07:00

TUHAN :Kamu memanggil-Ku ?
AKU :Memanggilmu?Tidak.. Ini siapa ya?
TUHAN :Ini ALLAH.Aku mendengar doamu.Jadi Aku ingin berbincang-bincang denganmu.
AKU :Ya, saya memang sering berdoa, hanya agar saya merasalebih baik.Tapi sekarang saya sedang sibuk, sangat sibuk.
TUHAN :Sedang sibuk apa? Semut juga sibuk.
AKU :Nggak tau ya.Yang pasti saya tidak punya waktu luang sedikitpun.Hidup jadi seperti diburu-buru.Setiap waktu telah menjadi waktu sibuk.
TUHAN :Benar sekali.Aktifitas memberimu kesibukan.Tapi Produktifitas memberimu hasil.Aktifitas memakan waktu, Produktifitas membebaskanwaktu.
AKU :Saya mengerti itu.Tapi saya tetap tidak dapat menghidarinya.Sebenarnya, saya tidak mengharapkan ALLAH mengajakku chatting seperti ini.
TUHAN :Aku ingin memecahkan masalahmu dengan waktu, denganmemberimu beberapa petunjuk.Di era internet ini, Aku ingin menggunakan medium yanglebih nyaman untukmu daripada mimpi, misalnya.
AKU :OKE, sekarang beritahu saya, mengapa hidup jadibegitu rumit?
TUHAN :Berhentilah menganalisa hidup.Jalani saja.Analisa-lah yang membuatnya jadi rumit.
AKU :Kalau begitu mengapa kami manusia tidak pernah merasa senang?
TUHAN :Hari ini adalah hari esok yang kamu khawatirkankemarin.Kamu merasa khawatir karena kamu menganalisa.Merasa khawatir menjadi kebiasaanmu.Karena itulah kamu tidak pernah merasa senang.
AKU :Tapi bagaimana mungkin kita tidak khawatir jika adabegitu banyak ketidakpastian.
TUHAN :Ketidakpastian itu tidak bisa dihindari.Tapi kekhawatiran adalah sebuah pilihan.
AKU :Tapi, begitu banyak rasa sakit karena ketidakpastian.
TUHAN :Rasa Sakit tidak bisa dihindari, tetapi Penderitaanadalah sebuah pilihan.
AKU :Jika Penderitaan itu pilihan, mengapa orang baikselalu menderita?
TUHAN :Intan tidak dapat diasah tanpa gesekan.Emas tidak dapat dimurnikan tanpa api.Orang baik melewati rintangan, tanpa menderita.Dengan pengalaman itu, hidup mereka menjadi lebih baikbukan sebaliknya.
AKU :Maksudnya pengalaman pahit itu berguna?
TUHAN :Ya.Dari segala sisi, pengalaman adalah guru yang keras.Guru pengalaman memberi ujian dulu, baru pemahamannya.
AKU :Tetapi, mengapa kami harus melalui semua ujian itu?Mengapa kami tidak dapat hidup bebas dari masalah?
TUHAN :Masalah adalah Rintangan yang ditujukan untukmeningkatkan kekuatan mentalKekuatan dari dalam diri bisa keluar dari perjuangandan rintangan, bukan dari berleha-leha.
AKU :Sejujurnya ditengah segala persoalan ini, kami tidaktahu kemana harus melangkah...
TUHAN :Jika kamu melihat ke luar, maka kamu tidak akan tahukemana kamu melangkah.Lihatlah ke dalam.Melihat ke luar, kamu bermimpi.Melihat ke dalam, kamu terjaga.Mata memberimu penglihatan.Hati memberimu arah.
AKU :Kadang-kadang ketidakberhasilan membuatku menderita.Apa yang dapat saya lakukan?
TUHAN :Keberhasilan adalah ukuran yang dibuat oleh oranglain.Kepuasan adalah ukuran yang dibuat olehmu sendiri.Mengetahui tujuan perjalanan akan terasa lebihmemuaskan daripada mengetahui bahwa kau sedangberjalan.Bekerjalah dengan kompas, biarkan orang lain bekejarandengan waktu.
AKU :Di dalam saat-saat sulit, bagaimana saya bisa tetap termotivasi?
TUHAN :Selalulah melihat sudah berapa jauh saya berjalan,daripada masih berapa jauh saya harus berjalan.Selalu hitung yang harus kau syukuri, jangan hitungapa yang tidak kau peroleh.AKU :Apa yang menarik dari manusia?
TUHAN :Jika menderita, mereka bertanya "Mengapa harus aku?".Jika mereka bahagia, tidak ada yang pernah bertanya"Mengapa harus aku?".
AKU :Kadangkala saya bertanya, siapa saya, mengapa sayadisini?
TUHAN :Jangan mencari siapa kamu, tapi tentukanlah inginmenjadi apa kamu.Berhentilah mencari mengapa saya di sini.Ciptakan tujuan itu.Hidup bukanlah proses pencarian, tapi sebuah prosespenciptaan.
AKU :Bagaimana saya bisa mendapat yang terbaik dalam hidupini?
TUHAN :Hadapilah masa lalu-mu tanpa penyesalan.Peganglah saat ini dengan keyakinan.Siapkan masa depan tanpa rasa takut.
AKU :Pertanyaan terakhir.Seringkali saya merasa doa-doaku tidak dijawab.
TUHAN :Tidak ada doa yang tidak dijawab.Seringkali jawabannya adalah TIDAK.
AKU :Terima Kasih YA ALLAH atas chatting yang indah ini.
TUHAN :Oke.Teguhlah dalam iman, dan buanglah rasa takut.Hidup adalah misteri untuk dipecahkan, bukan masalahuntuk diselesaikan.Percayalah padaKu.Hidup itu indah jika kamu tahu cara untuk hidup.....

acrOSS the UniVerSe

2006-07-06T03:08:00.000-07:00

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,
Possessing and caressing me.
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,
That call me on and on
Across the universe,
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way
Across the universe
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.

Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing
Through my open views inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns,
it calls me on and on
Across the universe
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.

daMaged

2006-06-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

I know I'm kinda strange, to you sometimes
Don't always say, what's on my mind
You know that I've been hurt, by some guy
But I don't wanna mess up this time

And I really really really care
And I really really really want you
And I think I'm kinda scared
Cause I don't want to lose you
If you really really really there
Then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It's nothing to you

My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know thatI've been damaged
I'm falling in love
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that I've been damaged

I might look through your stuff, for what I don't wanna find
Or I might just set you up, to see if you're all mine
I'm a little paranoid, from what I've been through
Don't know what you got yourself into

And I really really really care (And I care about you somuch)
And I really really really want you (I really do want you)
And I think I'm kinda scared (But I'm scared with everytouch)
Cause you)If you really really really care (If you care for me like yousay)
Then maybe you can hang through (Then maybe you can hangthrough)
I hope you understand (I hope you understand)
It's nothing to you {nothing to you}

bla bla bla

2006-06-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

funny how things change and how they can really change my life in so many ways. good or bad times have shaped me the way i am now.i hated people as many as i fell in love with them.though i feel stronger, i also feel weaker at the same time. chatting with friends is no longer the best remedy i know as i know that it wouldnt make much or any difference with i feel inside.also, i know that my friends have their problems which also hard for them that i couldnt help.i realize that any relationship is fragile.that nothing can guarantee it would last forever and u' re gonna b happy for the rest of your life.

i thank to all of my friends for always be there for me whenever i need them. and i try not to hate anybody that hurt me.

golden rules of chosing the life partner

2006-06-14T01:38:00.001-07:00

A relationship coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Ms. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:
Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage:
· You can grow together, or
· You can grow apart.
50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottom line – and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust! i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:
Is s/he a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions:
· Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
· Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing". So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world:
· People who are dedicated to personal growth, and
· People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:
· How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?
· How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?
· Do they show respect?
If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you - who can't do nearly as much for them!
· Do they gossip and speak badly about others?
Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage... for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Subject: How will I know If I've Met the Person I Should Marry?
The choice of a marriage partner should not be based on "I get a warm, wonderful feeling whenever we're together and I want to have that warm wonderful feeling forever, so let's go get married". Feelings, as we have discussed, have no logic on their own. They need to be acknowledged, of course, but they need considerable assistance from your brain. Marriage means choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This, as you may have guessed, is a very long time to spend with one person. This person will live with you, eat meals with you, sleep with you and go on vacation with you. More important yet, this person will share your children. You need to choose wisely. The decision should not be made based on feelings alone. You need to ask yourself some tough questions. The decisions have to be made on solid considerations:
1. Will this person be a good partner?
2. Is s/he prepared to be a good provider?
3. Is s/he responsible enough to get a good job and keep it?
4. What is her/his track record?
5. Will this person be a good parent?
6. Is s/he mature enough to put her/him own selfish desires aside to look out for what is best for the family?
7. Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person?

They will, you know. Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their parents' character traits. You had better like your spouse's traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in your children. If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust this person, alone, with the task of raising and forming your children? This is not a pleasant thought, but it is an important consideration. Not everyone dies at a ripe old age with great grandchildren gathered around the bed. Sometimes a parent dies and leaves young children in the care of the other parent. If you feel that you would need to be around to correct or lessen this person's influence on your children, then you are considering the wrong person.

Does this person share your faith in God? God does not give us children so that we can mould them into the coolest, most popular people in school. Our job is to get them to heaven. To do that, we need to raise them believing in God. It is tough to do that if only one parent believes. Saying "This is right and that is wrong, and I want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five" does not work. Small children ask about eight million questions in a single day. The answers to those questions go a long way toward forming the kind of adults they will become. Who will be answering those questions for your children? Does this person you are marrying have sexual self-control? Single people sometimes have this idea that marriage is just some kind of lifelong sex festival and that as long as they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people. Wrong! There are many times in every marriage when one partner or the other is sexually unavailable - illness, the last months of pregnancy, travel. There are also times when spouses, just get on each others' nerves. At times like this, other people can seem very appealing. That can be dangerous, because there are plenty of very attractive people out there who are willing to make themselves available to married men and women. Do you want someone who has never said "no" to sex? If he is not good at saying "no" at eighteen, it won't be different at forty. Do you want to worry about whether or not your Spouse is being faithful? These are very important questions, and if you are not comfortable with all of the answers, you should definitely not marry this person. None if this is to say that feelings play no role at all in a marriage decision. You don't have to, "Well, I suppose that you would make a good spouse and parent, so even though I don't particularly like you I guess I'll marry you'".

You need to be happy and excited about the prospect of spending your life with someone. Your brain however must acknowledge that this person as a good choice. Don't listen to your heart alone nor your head alone. Wait until your heart and head agree.

bias-bias kasih aja donk (biasa aja.-red)

2006-06-13T00:33:00.000-07:00

bosan...banget..banyak kerjaan..gak kreatif...itu-itu aja..mau cuti susah...nungguin mlulu...pelit amat sih...bias-bias kasih aja donk...

dont go:)

2006-05-31T02:16:00.000-07:00

i just dont want to let u go.please stay a little while with me.

one

2006-05-09T02:17:00.000-07:00

one goes.one stays.one changes.one fades.one red.one blue.one create.one desctruct.one believes.one betrays.one loves.one hates.one happy.one sad.one stone.one rainbow.one leaf.one wind.one story.one ending.one truth.one lie.one fight.one word.one.

BcOZ They'Re MINE

2006-05-09T01:16:00.000-07:00

well, actually this is nothing to be bothered about. yet, i cudnt get rid this thing out of my mind.
listening to some other worse cases may make me feel better somehow. but still i feel so bad about it.i try to let everything go as it is.but i fail.but hey, it's all i ever wanted..

why am i so complaining about my problems?? why am i so frustating about these things??
u really wanna know why?
becouse they are mine!

wish u bad!

2006-05-09T01:09:00.000-07:00

far beyond the dead brain cells, lies a territory unknown to anyone,
even to herself, her senseless mind..

bebblllrrppp...

2006-05-04T22:05:00.000-07:00

if this is going to be the third betrayal, im not gonna be surprised. i'm gonna feel hurt of course. but hey why did u hide the caller's name if that was not from her? and u..why u did that too to me? u know the reason why whatever things i'm doing right now. u know how i feel. i hate u. i hate ur smiles (i'm afraid that they are all fake).

siapa yang beliiin raney CIKI?

2006-04-26T21:08:00.000-07:00

jadi siapa ya yang suka beliin ciki untuk raney?
hari pertama 1 ciki..
hari kedua dua ciki...
terus besok ada lagi gak ya..

tapi siapa yak...?
enak sih makan ciki..tapi ini dari siapa...
kayaknya sih toge? tapi kata dia bukan...
si anin?gak mungkin....
shirly? huuu...bukan dia deh
tika? gak ngaku juga...

tau deh siapa
tapi thanks a lot anyway ya teman...

ThinGs stRangEly Not HappNening Yet

2006-04-23T23:37:00.001-07:00

When u expect something, strangely enough, they do happen..katanya begitu.paulo coelho juga bilang di bukunya fifth mountain "kalau kamu menginginkan sesuatu dengan sangat, maka seluruh alam raya akan bersatu padu untuk membantu mewujudkannya".waah bener gak ya tu?..pengennya si bener begitu.biar terkabul semua keinginan dan kebutuhan hehehe...the thing is everythinng so hard to get these days..mungkin emang dari dulu gitu kali ya..heheh..dari mulai yang kecil-kecil seperti "duh kereta jangan terlambat donk" "wah, semoga sore ini jangan hujan deras" sampai yang besar-besar "semoga gue dapet promosi tahun ini dan kenaikan gaji yang gede" "semoga gue bisa beli mobil bulan depan" and so on and so on.
apakah ini masalah keberuntungan? ya mungkin. apakah masalah usaha? ya mungkin juga. tapi kalau gue sih berusaha untuk percaya kalau ini emang udah dari sana nya. kalau terkabul, ya terkabul, kalau enggak, ya enggak. karena ada kalanya ketika kita pengen banget sama sesuatu dan bahkansudah mengusahakan segalanya tapi belum terkabul juga. sebaliknya ada juga yang gak usaha banyak-banyak tapi keinginannya dan kebutuhannya terpenuhi dengan mudah..Hmm..yaa abisan kalau gak gitu ntar stress trus stroke muda lagi hehhhe..
tapi ada masanya sih nerima kenyataan itu susah banget,jadi ketika keinginan tidak terkabul rasanya dunia runtuh. hopeless gitu lah..been there. done that hahaha. sediiih de rasanya pengen nangis, marah,teriak tapi mau diapain juga kalau emang bukan milik kita ya gak akan dapat. however, gimana juga kita gak boleh putus harapan (oh raney, stop lying pleaasee heheh)
sebenarnya lagi merasa gak enak hati banget nih sama semuanya.sebell..kinda lose hope actually, kinda hard to believe that such miracle cud happen to me...coz i think that i did, do everything i cud to get anything i'have ever wanted...tapi ada masih banyak yang belum happening niy....mungkin raney nya sih bisa sabar menunggu miracle itu untuk terjadi tapi kalau orang lain gak bisa ikutan sabar gimana ya...

In LovIng MemorY

2006-04-18T01:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And ill come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel
I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and aloneI can't believe you're gone
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel
I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still
And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

WhaT IF

2006-04-18T00:52:00.000-07:00

What if there was no light
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme.

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side.
That you don't want me there in your life.

What if I got it wrong, and no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong.

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life.

Oh, that's right
Let's take a breath and jump over the side
Oh, that's right
How can you know it if you don't even try
Oh, that's right
Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take

mInD MaNagEmeNt : StUck and UnStUck

2006-04-18T00:37:00.000-07:00

Yang Mana Anda: si Stuck atau si Unstuck?

Dalam hal meraih keberhasilan dalam hidup ada 2 tipe manusia. Stuck dan Unstuck.
Si "Unstuck," biasanya mempunyai kemampuan berkomunikasi yang universal (selalu menjaga etika, banyak mendengarkandan percaya diri tanpa perlu menjatuhkan orang lain) attitude yangberbeda dibandingkan dengan si "Stuck." Bagi si Unstuck, tantangan adalah sumber gairah dan energy yang sangat berharga. Dalam kata lain, dengan kesulitan --termasuk kesulitan dalam berkomunikasi-- ia menemukan makna hidup. Dengan demikian, ia membukapintu-pintu keberhasilan baginya di masa depan (di tingkat"etheral," dalam bahasa New Age-nya).
Bagi si Stuck, tantangan adalah sesuatu yang ingin dihindarkan setiap saat. Saya ingat betapa ada seorang teman yang selalu mengeluh baik ketika tidak mendapatkan pekerjaan, sedang mencari pekerjaan dan bahkan ketika sudah diterima kerja.Keluhannya walaupun hanya untuk hal-hal kecil saja, namun bagisi Unstuck, ini adalah salah satu bentuk "invitation" bagi kegagalan. Coba saja bayangkan. Si Stuck ini sering mengeluh betapa "kejam"nya bosnya di tempat kerja, maka ketika suatu hari kehadirannya di tempat kerja sangat diperlukan, ia bilang, "Mereka lagi mau pindahan kantor, mendingan gua tidak masuk kerja saja, supaya mereka tahu rasa kekurangan orang." Wah, dengan mengeluh kepada si Unstuck, sebenarnya si Stuck ini sudah membuka pintu kegagalan.

Maksudnya apa? Well, siapa sebenarnya yang mau mempekerjakan seseorang yang tidak etis (tidak profesional)? Ingatlah bahwa "what you say says a lot about you" (apa yang Anda katakan kepada orang lain sebenarnya mencerminkan siapa Anda).
Kalau saja pihak yang mempekerjakan si Stuck ini sampai mendengar perkataannya, bukankah pintu promosi sudah langsung tertutup baginya? Belum lagi kalau si Unstuck temannya itu mempunyai potensi untuk mempekerjakan si Stuck. Bukankah ini adalah promosi buruk (bad personal branding) bagi si Stuck?
Ada lagi beberapa perbedaan antara si "Stuck" dan si "Unstuck".

Stuck: Senang meminta. Senang menerima yang gratis-gratis tanpa merasa obligated untuk membalas budi.

Unstuck: Senang memberi. Tidak senang menerima barang-barang gratis (ingat there is no free lunch, semuanya mesti dibayar baik sekarang maupun nanti --bukankah lebih baik sekarang?).Kalaupun diberi sesuatu, ia selalu membalas budi baik orang laindengan segera.

Stuck: Berpikir dengan perasaan dan merasa dengan pikiran. Sering mengalami konflik antara pikiran dan perbuatan,sehingga apa yang dikomunikasikan mempunyai "logical fallacy."

Unstuck: Berpikir dengan pikiran dan merasa dengan perasaan. Paralel dan tidak ada konflik antara pikiran dan perbuatan.Dalam istilah Ilmu Logika, perbuatan-perbuatannya adalah perbuatanyang sahih.

Stuck: Mengikuti tren (misalnya senang mendengarkan pendapat orang lain, menjadi "pengikut" pendapat orang lain).

Unstuck: Menciptakan tren (tidak memperdulikan omongan negatif orang lain, sepanjang apa yang diincar adalah halal dan bisa membantu orang banyak baik secara langsung maupun tidak langsung).

Stuck: Tidak berani menghadapi tantangan baru (lebih baik "stuck" di satu tempat daripada mengubah diri sendiri untuk memenuhi kebutuhan baru yang akan membawanya ke kehidupan yang lebih baik).

Unstuck: Senang menghadapi tantangan baru, bahkan selalu mencari-carinya di setiap kesempatan.

Stuck: Senang memerangi masalah saat itu juga karena merasa egonya tertantang.

Unstuck: Memilih masalah yang harus diperangi (choose your battle) dan mana yang harus dilepaskan karena tidak worth it dari segi spending tenaga dan pikiran.

Stuck: Sering menyalahkan orang lain (blaming) dan mengeluh (whining). Bahkan ada orang selalu mengeluh sehingga ia tidak bisa lagi melihat berkat (blessing) di depan matanya.

Unstuck: Tidak menyalahkan siapa-siapa. What already happened, happened. Yang penting adalah solving the problem, bukan blaming dan whining.

Stuck: Tidak pernah double checking pendapat orang lain. Dalam kata lain, percaya saja kepada gosip secara penuh, tanpa mendengarkan dari pihak lain yang terlibat.

Unstuck: Selalu double checking dan tidak langsung mempercayai gosip atau isyu-isyu yang beredar.

Stuck: Lebih memusatkan kepada kemampuan berbahasa, bukan komunikasi efisien dan kemampuan adaptasi kultural.

Unstuck: Memusatkan kepada kemampuan berkomunikasi efisien dan adaptasi kultural, bukan yang dapat diukur oleh grammar dan mekanisa bahasa.

Stuck: Biasanya tidak berani mengungkapkan siapa dirinya sebenarnya (ada unsur "merahasiakan" asal-usul dan beberapa hal lainnya yang semestinya bukanlah rahasia).

Unstuck: Terbuka dan transparan dalam bertindak.Berani untuk diaudit oleh siapapun karena kebenaran akan selalu berada di pihaknya.

Ok, so which one are you?

rollercoastermovingarounD

2006-04-03T19:35:00.000-07:00

i dont understand wots happening between you and me.i mean u change everyday like roller coaster movinn around:P. its just u being u i know. but hey can u see that...in a way i accompany you go thru your days. u dont ask me i completely aware of that. but u never resist that either. u like me that way i know. sometimes i feel like that u will stay there forever. u dont want me in ur dreams. but when u talk to me like that i know that u need me. u'd better decide it u know..on the other hand, im stopping meself from dreaming that someday u'll be awaken from ur reality and come to my dream. it may happen or it may not. i'm just stop believing in that kind of things. i'm not such a dreamer u know..another thing, i wish u stop ur "whinning times"..to people,to things srround u. Its not because i dont want to hear that, its because its not good for u u know that. u do have many miracles within u. many just envy to see u talking u know..the thing that i really want to say to u is that u do have many good things in your life. stop looking for perfectness, cos there's not such things in this world.

just...

2006-03-28T23:14:00.000-08:00

u dont have to worry about me. i'm fine.at least i'm trying to be.its u that u sud be worry about :D. it seems to me that u do a lot of denials.c'mon..stop doing that.well, u can do anything u want to do and say whatever u want to say, but still deep down, u know i know that it against ur will. if u just let it goes out. it'll be fine. trust me.if u just free ur mind, if u just see this thru another perspective. u told me that, remember? hey life is not always turn out to be like u want it to be.it changes beyond our control. so dont resist that hard. just wait and see, will ya..

bodohnyaa rann..

2006-03-28T22:56:00.000-08:00

kinda regretting wot i did yesterday. it makes me weaker and obviously sleepy today.the silly me...hate it. i know wot they want.and i won't give it. not that easy. dont want to.

this One Is foR yOuU!

2006-03-06T20:56:00.000-08:00

I walk a mile with a smile.
I don't know I don't care where I am,
But I know it's all right.
Jump the tracks, can't get back.
I don't know anyone round here,
But I'm safe this time.

'Cause when you tell me, tell me, tell me
Stupid things like you do,
Yes I have to, have to, have to
Change the rules; I can't lose.

'Cause I shiver, I just break up.
When I'm near you it all gets out of hand.
Yes I shiver, I get bent up.
There's no way back.
I know you'll understand.

We talk and talk, round it all.
Who'd have thought we'd end up here?
But I'm feeling fine.
In a rush never trust, you'll be there
If I'd only stop and take my time.

'Cause with you I'm running, running, running
Somewhere I can't get to.
Yes I have to, have to, have to
Change the rules; I'm with you.

'Cause I shiver, I just break up.
When I'm near you it all gets out of hand.
Yes I shiver, I get bent up.
There's no way back.
I know you'll understand.

What if you get off at the next stop?
Would you just wave as I'm drifting off?
And if I never saw you again
Could I (could I) keep all (all of) of this (of this) inside?

'Cause I shiver, I just break up.
When I'm near you it all gets out of hand.
Yes I shiver, I get bent up.
There's no way back.
I know you'll understand.

(I'm running but my heart won't keep up.
This feeling that I'm feeling is too much.
There's nothing that can slow me down now.
I'm running but I'll catch you somehow.)

I shiver. I shiver.

Yes I shiver, I just break up.
When I'm near you it all gets out of hand.
Yes I shiver, I get bent up.
There's no way back.
I know you'll understand.

muchadoaboutnothing

2006-02-18T07:35:00.000-08:00

hahhaha... i just cudnt stop laughing bout the thing we talked on the way home last friday. Wot on earth we cud talking sumthing like that? :P I do appreciate your kindness, understanding and honesty. i really do. Though, there are some parts that i didnt easily comprehend but im trying to understand ur concern and opinions. U cudnt be ryte all the time u know...things might not happen as the way we except that to happen. But hey, i really respect your decision cos i cudnt promise anything to u 2. we can only hope for the better. for a better cost. but now, i dont want to pretend that i dont know anything bout that. i hope u respect the little opinion of mine, which might be different from yours.
im glad that u dont draw a line for whatever things happened between us. i guess i will have to learn many things, as i said to you. it took major patience to deal with me u know..and i know u pass it easily hahhaaha..it seems to me that u win the game hehehe...yeah of course that was based on your loooooong loong time experience dealing with people like me :P.u amazed me by standing all the way so far. and wot u said is really really important to me. and u really brighten up my day. cud u just stay that way? hehehe..

090206

2006-02-08T22:44:00.000-08:00

blaaagh....been out of the office for days..so i cudnt write any blog hehhe..
mm.. ur opinions are so blunt, know dat? i know dat u might only to make me laugh sometimes..well, if it is so thank u so much yaa...

just dont wanna guess where this is going to.just wanna here for a time.
and hey methya....u really browse the site? and read everything there?hihihi...thank u for taking so much attention on any stories i have ever told u.

yikes.i really have to end dat.just dont wanna feel and think and predict or whatever about dat.
really have to set the time.

conVerSatIoN

2006-02-02T01:33:00.000-08:00

hey hey...u can talk about everything to me..i wont mind..thanks for the compliments,critics, questions,objections or whatever u have said to me.though i got annoyed sometimes..but its okay...i love the way u talk by the way.seems so smart and u can make me laugh. i really enjoy ur jokes and stories.i know dat u might see me childish or sumthin like that. well, i guess that's i am.i hope it is allright with u. i mean u do have many 'adult' friends rite? :P so talking to me hopefully gonna be a fun conversation ihihihi..

blaaagHh...

2006-02-01T23:24:00.000-08:00

ugh i just wish rain will pour every day..
i hate this kind of weather..
just get so uncomfortable blaagh..
things happen around me and i happy for that..
just want sumthin nice will happen to me too..

just get out off my head will ya?

CikLiT: Mr. MayBe vs MuCh A Do AbouT NotHIng (??)

2006-01-25T02:01:00.002-08:00

gue lagi baca sebuah ciklit judulnya "Mr. Maybe" jarang juga sih baca ciklit..merasa itu bacaan gak penting aja heheh..tapi berhubung ini pinjeman dan direkomen bagus ya tak baca saja..lagi gak ada bacaan juga....karena "by the river pedra i sat down and wept"balum dibalikin sama hana.

niwey, mr.maybe in standar cerita ciklit deh.cewek 20 sumthing struggle for life and love. gue suka ciklit ini karena banyak komentar yang lugas sekali tentang kepribadian dan keadaan cewe pada umumnya.here's wot i managed to comprehend from the book:

mustahil kalau kita gak mau terlibat dalam hubungan dengan cowo lagi.bohong besar kalau kita tidak akan melakukan kesalahan seperti yang pernah kita lakukan dalam hubungan di masa lalu dan sok PD gak akan gagal lagi.kita berfikir kita mau diam aja ditempat trus menunggu the right guy came along. maybe there's no such right guy. se right-right nya ituh guy pasti dia juga akan pernah bikin kita sedih dan menangis lah...cuma lebih sedikit aja kali..:P .Yang ada cuma ordinary guy yang dengannya kita merasa nyaman dan menjadi diri sendiri.kalau kita diam ditempat aja, run and hide, yaa kesempatannya pun segitu aja.beda sama orang yang berani taking risk.maju aja dulu terus dicoba. meski takut gagal dan sakit hati lagi, dont take it too personally lah.semua orang juga mengalami hal-hal yang sama. justru dengan kekecewaan dan kegagalan kita akan jadi lebih ' hidup'. it means kita harus berani ambil resiko, jangan cengeng. teori dan taktik tetep perlu tapi selanjutnya just follow and trust ur heart...siapa tau berhasil bahagia selama-lamanya..hehehe...i take this book too personally ya? hahha..jadi maluuu....

klise banget ya semuanya..tapi adakalanya gue type orang yang harus di remind dulu trus jadi inget dan nyadar that this life is just that. nothing really matter.malu aja kadang i did everything for nothing...haha..tapi sejalan waktu gue jadi lebih bisa melihat itu sebagai proses (blaaagh...) to feel wot i feel now...to be wot i am now....

Tapi mungkin tidak segitu nothing-nya sich...pasti ada hikmahnya lah...yang maha tahu di atas sana telah menuliskan semua itu terjadi sama gue. dia kan yang punya semuanya.jadi masih 'untung' lah gue 'cuma' harus mengalami hal-hal itu saja. masih bagus donk bukan yang lebih buruk dari itu.masih banyak yang lebih 'tidak beruntung' dari gue....yeah!
si raney sok bijak gini...maybe i just need a new pair of shoes....(loHH??)

PagI dan tEmAn dan TemaN

2006-01-24T19:22:00.000-08:00

pagi ini menyenangkan juga.. sarapan disuapin ibu...ojeknya gak telat...tidak hujan..tanggal 25...being in the crowd with nice people...kereta udah jalan lagi...ketemu lala di kereta..dan ternyata dia pendengar setia indika yang si pipin suka siaran itu...jadi waktu ngenalinnya lucu mereka yang bilang "loh jadi loe yang...."hahhaa...such a small world ya...

stRange DayS.BeeN TheRE. YikeS

2006-01-24T01:40:00.000-08:00

tadi malem pulangnya agak malem gitu..gara2 keretanya gak jalan akibat jalur rel di deket stasiun palmerah ketimpa billboard gede gitu...jadinya naik bis..pas udah sampe rumah, siap-siap bobo nyalain tv..trus ada film di trans tv 'strange days'. menurut gue sih filmnya lumayan bagus. dan ada ralph fiennes nya ihiks ihiks...ceritanya agak futuristik dan ada hubungannya dengan new year eve tahun 2000 yang pergantian millenium ituh....ada scene2 nya yang ceritain betapa lenny, si karakter cowok, wud do anything for ceweknya. dia terbiasa berkorban untuk ceweknya padahal jelas2 cewek itu tidak mencintainya dan hanya memanfaatkannya. lenny hopeless, udah tau di manfaatkan tapi itu tidak membuat nya berhenti melindungi dan mencintai ceweknya. trus si lenny punya partner cewe polisi namanya mace. mace ini ternyata mencintai lenny tanpa menyadarinya. mace juga, sadly, wud do anything for lenny's life. jadi itu kayak segitiga yang sudutnya kejar2 an :P. waktu lenny mau sekali lagi menyelamatkan cewe cintanya itu, meski dia nyadar cuma jebakan, mace marah. mace bilang lenny bodoh, cuma memelihara perasaan yang sudah usang aja. mace bilang "kamu tidak mencintainya lagi, kamu hanya mempertahankan ego dan ilusi kamu aja" lenny bilang itu benar tapi dia hopeless.ga tau lagi harus berbuat apa karena saat itu dia cuma ingin menyelematkan cewe itu. akhirnya , demi cintanya, mace juga ikut sama lenny dan membantu proses rescue si cewe itu..Mmm..akhir ceritanya sih happy ending, mace dan lenny menyadari saling mencintai :) gitu de...

well, emang sering kali orang justru mencintai orang yang tidak mencintainya. semakin cintanya tidak terbalas, maka akan semakin tergila2 lah orang itu...hmm...agak sakit ya...tidak sehat.mungkin memang ada pembahasan psikologis sendiri untuk ini. i've been there atually and now i realize how stupid i was. yikes!

Thank You my TiKaaaa

2006-01-23T01:09:00.000-08:00

Tika lagi ngerevisi blog gw niy... asiiiiK... asiiiiK... si aisah bt tuh, makanya betulin sendiri donk... thanks a lot ya tiK... nanti kapan2 kalo ada yg lucu direvisi lagi yaaaaH... hehehehhe

StaY

2006-01-13T00:20:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i hardly found words to describe what i feel inside. I usually use a song to say whatever my heart want to say towards something or someone...hehe..curang ya?

here is what i feel about you now..

You say I only hear what I want to
You say I talk so all the time so
And I thought what I felt was simple
and I thought that I don't belong
and now that I am leaving
now I know that I did something wrong
'cause I missed you. Yeah yeah, I missed you

And you say I only hear what I want to
I don't listen hard
don't pay attention to the distance that you're running to anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care
I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no

So I turned the radio on
I turned the radio up
and this woman was singing my song
lover's in love, and the other's run away
lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay

Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was dying since the day they were born. Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you

You said that I was naive, and I thought that I was strong
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong
'cause I missed you. Yeah, I miss you
You said, "I caught you 'cause I want you and one day I'll let you go.
" You try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just scared to lose

And you say, "Stay."
And you say I only hear what I want to

GoodBye My LoveR By JamEs BluNt

2006-01-06T01:09:00.000-08:00

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun
Yes, I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won

So I took what's mine by eternal right
Took your soul out into the night
It may be over but it won't stop there
I am here for you if you'd only care

You touched my heart you touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
And love is blind and that I knew when
My heart was blinded by you
I've kissed your lips and held your head
Shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted to you

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

I am a dreamer but when I wake
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take
And as you move on, remember me
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile
I've watched you sleeping for a while
I'd be the father/mother of your child
I'd spend a lifetime with you
I know your fears and you know mine
We've had our doubts but now we're fine
And I love you, I swear that's true
I cannot live without you

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

And I still hold your hand in mine
In mine when I'm asleep
And I will bear my soul in time
When I'm kneeling at your feet

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow

pulsa, wangi dan pusing

2006-01-05T20:11:00.000-08:00

hari ini akhirnya berhasil juga mengurus migrasi dari simpati ke halo di gerai halo di plangi sama si tika.hard decision to make tapi harus dilakukan blaagh... asal jangan kebanyakan sms dan telpon aja neng..

trus hari ini juga berhasil mendapatkan body spash cologne victoria secret's secret crush...mmm...wangi...

cudnt think clearly about many things. rasanya dizzy aja.sebel.

life oh life oo life oo life du du du du (gaya-gaya desree)

2006-01-05T00:17:00.000-08:00

u just never know wot will happen to you.

just enjoy every good and bad moment of ur life.

expect less. see wot'll happen. u might be surprise.

About Nenk raNey: 4 hasBeens and wAnnabeS ...WuinK!

2006-01-03T22:13:00.000-08:00

I neeD my VerY owN CosMoS

2006-01-03T01:55:00.000-08:00

Have u ever felt so angry about everything? I just got so angry with everything. So damn angry. It's just almost unbearable to fight my sanity. I tried so hard to keep my life in balance. But still i have to accept the inevitable. Whenever i feel my life is okay, there will be another bump shatter my only solitude. and I hate that.

January 02, 2006

2006-01-02T00:01:00.000-08:00

First day working in 2006..yeah! just got a very bad news that really really bad :( Hey u ..u just can't do that to me, u know it. But u still did it. I dont have to know bout it. i hate u. Really really hate u. What's on ur mind?? My god forgive all of your sins and mistake cos i cant and wont. May God protect me as he always does.

This like any other day to me. I just dragged my self from my bed to get up and go to work.
set my mind to feel happy and think positive about everything. Though i never really suceed doing that :P.

last night i sorted all of my old stuff in the closet. Found so many and threw away many things.I got up earlier and burnt everything that remind me to my old time bad experience. I just keep the best of it in my memory then, i really dont need any memoribilia ( is this the right spelling ?)from it. My mom saw me and she didnt do or ask anything. Maybe she understood enough.

well, ran..lets start a new brand experience this year. Be careful and dont be afraid this time, will ya neng raney?

10 FiLM FaVoriT NenG RanEY

2005-12-27T21:50:00.000-08:00

Saya suka nonton film kartun, TV series dan film2 bioskop. Here are some of my favorite movies…Ini niiiy film-film favoritnya neng raney…baru daftar sementara yang berhasil dingat hari ini…

Legend of the Fall
Di film ini ada adegan dimana ceweknya bilang dia menyesal gak menunggu sedikit lebih lama lagi untuk menunggu si brad pitt nya kembali…kalimat tepatnya lupa. Tapi kalau gak salah si brad nya bilang”I thought forever is long enough” gitu deh. Huhuw..makanya kalau bilang “I’ll wait for u forever” yaaa usahakan ditepati gitu hehheh…

Band of Brothers
Waaa….TV series ini mengharu biru sekali tentang bagaimana manusia harus saling melindungi dengan jiwa dan raga satu sama lain…hiks..hiks….Yang egois gak boleh nonton film ini ah..

LOTR
Kesemuanya LOTR ini 1, 2 dan 3 adalah analogi yang sempurna untuk menggambarkan angel dan evil akan selalu tempur, persahabatan yang gak kenal lelah untuk saling memperbaiki satu sama lain, cinta yang gak egois dll. Banyak deh. Sifat-sifat manusia dari mulai yang baik dan jahat komplit ada disini. Oya, the best part nya sih tentu saja endingnya. Menurut gue kayak gini kira2 …semua orang akan diterpa tragedy. Dan tragedy itu akan membuat seseorang berubah, baik menjadi lebih baik dan lebih buruk. Buat yang baik juga ternyata gak sempurna karena dia akan selalu membawa bagian buruk yang dia alami terus sepanjang hidupnya….kasian si Frodo...Om Tolkien emang komprehensif deh…:D

Lemony Snickett: The Series of Unfortunate Events
Gambarnya indah-indah dan karakternya menakjubkan….hehheheh…jadi ingat sama adik yang paling kecil yang suka menggigit apa saja dimana saja hahhaha…

Forrest Gump
Sedih, ironis, realistis (bener gak ya?) memorable deh pokonya.. Inget gak sama: life is a box of chocolate. U’ll never know wot u’re gonna get…

English Patient (tentu saja, how can I not?)
Cerita kasih tak sampai emang abadi deh. Trus, aktingnya gak ada yang mengecewakan. Adegan yang paling gue ingat adalah ketika si Ralph fiennes yang tampan itu mengarungi ribuan kilo gurun yang panas untuk mencari bantuan mau menyelamatkan si Kristin itu sampe dia nyaris gila…blaaagh…terjadi beneran gak ya di dunia nyata? Satu lagi: ada ucapan yang menarik dari Kristin (Scott??). Dia bilang yang dia benci dari pernikahan adalah karena membuat dia merasa “being owned.” Hmm..

A Beautiful Mind
Karakter shizophrenic Rusell Crowe di situ reminds me of someone. Cuma sayangnya bahkan si someone ini versi yang lebih sangat buruknya daripada si Rusell Crowe heheh…Endingnya keren banget bo! Ketika akhirnya John Nash nerima nobel dia kalau gak salah bilang (lupa kata-kata tepatnya) : and I finally found the answer in the equation of love… cuit cuit…

My Sassy Girl
Hilarious. Period.

Love Me if U dare
Different.

The Matrix
Eh, enggak juga denk…mungkin ini cuma pengaruh Keanu Reeves’ Syndrome :P

BoOks

2005-12-23T01:44:00.000-08:00

i've just read The Alchemist, Veronica Wants To Die and the Fifth Mountain by Paulo Coelho. Those books are amazing. Though they tell us bout many cliche things yet they remind me to those values that i almost forget..

To me The Alchemist taught me bout that i have to believe my dreams (again :P) and that i can achieve them. (at least some of them!) No matter what. I really have to create my own ' legend' :D that i want to have this and that, to experience this and that, to do this and that till my dying day. No need to rush, no need to be sad. Take life as it is. expect less, try more. be grateful with everything u have. learn lesson from evertyhing u see, u smell, u taste, u think, u say. every little thing is meaningful and everything happens for a reason. Just be patient and u'll get ur reward. gituu...

Veronica Wants to Die reminds that world, our life actually full of "crazy people" more than we realize.. it's just because we are so clever to hide our madness in such a way that we think its normal :D. Also, we dont have to be afraid of anything if it means to get your happiness in life.

About The Fifth Mountain, wow..i hardly find the ryte words to describe my impression toward the book. It says that love it such a beaeutiful things that set your soul free. It s not only about feeling or physical things. It's more than having a person valuable in ur life that u can't life without... Its more than such affection, such 'ownership', such life...its the thing that means ur inner self....wekekkekekke (wonder where did i get these dangduts words :D)

I havent read The Zahir and other Coelho's novels..cant wait to read them
Thanks a bunch for Coelho for writing such worthreading novels..
Thanks a bunch for meithya for lending me your collection :D.. i might borrow your other books met wekekkek...:D

quOtaTioNs...

2005-12-23T01:02:00.000-08:00

If you can "dream" it, then you can "do" it. Remember, all of these wonderfull things started with a mouse without inspiration.. we are all doomed.
(Walt Disney- Walt Disney Corp. Founder-)

Money is an evil master, but it is a good servant.
(P.T. Barnum-one of Barnum&Bailey Circus founding father-)

The Source of strength is not money in the hands of some people,
but Information in lots of people hands.
(John Naisbitt- Naisbitt Group General Manager-)

Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% hard work. Nothing can replace hard work. Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.
(Thomas A. Edison-Edison Electric Light Company-)

When a door is closed, another is opened; sometimes we focused on the closed door for to long and missed to see the other opened door.
(Alexander G. Bell- ex President and founder of National Geographic Society-)

Don't let oneself to become one with the job. If job is vanish, oneself cannot go to.
(Gordon Van Sauter- ex Presiden of CBS News-)

YOU today is the same YOU in the next 5 years, except for two things:
the people around you and the books that you read.
(Charles "Tremendeous" Jones-President of Life Management Services, Inc.-)

The most important thing in the olympic is not winning, but participating..
what most important in life is not winning, but how to fight well.
(Baron Pierre de Coubertin-first President of International Olympic Committee-)

Winner is not one who never fails, but one that never stops trying!!
(anonymous)

Maturity doesn't depend on how old is someone,
but it depends on how someone carried out a responsibility.
(anonymous)

If you are going to worry, there's no need to pray;
if you are going to pray, there's no need to worry.
(anonymous)

4 THose in TwEnty's SuMthiNg

2005-12-23T00:47:00.000-08:00

A Quarter-life Crisis....is it happened to you too? Then join the club.

For those in their twenty's something....

This puts it all into words perfectly. They call it the "Quarter-life
Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest.

People you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not.

You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. Random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends...Maybe it will help some one feel like they are not alone in the state of confusion that is our post grad. years!!!

IT's All aBoUt ChOiCe...CiYeee

2005-12-22T23:48:00.000-08:00

Ketika kita bertemu dengan seseorang yang membuatmu tertarik
Itu bukan pilihan, itu kesempatan.

Bertemu dalam suatu peristiwa bukanlah pilihan,
Itupun adaah kesempatan.

Bila kita memutuskan untuk mencintai orang tersebut,bahkan dengan segala kekurangannya,
Itu bukan kesempatan, itu adalah pilihan.

Ketika kita memilih bersama dengan seseorang walaupun apapun yang terjadi,
Itu adalah pilihan.

Bahkan ketika kita menyadari bahwa masih banyak orang lain yang lebih menarik, lebih pandai, lebih kaya daripada pasanganmu dan tetap memilih untuk mencintainya,
Itulah pilihan.

Perasaan cinta, simpatik, tertarik datang bagai kesempatan pada kita.
Tetapi cinta sejati yang abadi adalah pilihan.
Pilihan yang kita lakukan.

Berbicara tentang pasangan jiwa, ada suatu kutipan dari film yang Mungkin sangat tepat :
"Nasib membawa kita bersama, tetapi tetap bergantung pada kita
bagaimana membuat semuanya berhasil"

Pasangan jiwa bisa benar-benar ada dan bahkan sangat mungkin ada seseorang yang diciptakan hanya untukmu. Tetapi tetap berpulang padamu untuk melakukan pilihan apakah engkau ingin
melakukan sesuatu untuk mendapatkannya, atau tidak...

Kita mungkin kebetulan bertemu pasangan jiwa kita,tetapi mencintai dan tetap bersama pasangan jiwa kita adalah pilihan yang harus kita lakukan.

Kita ada di dunia bukan untuk mencari seseorang yang sempurna untuk dicintai TETAPI untuk
belajar mencintai orang yang tidak sempurna dengan cara yang sempurna.

AnOtheR LoVe TheoRy...buAT yaNg pErCaya ajaH hehhe

2005-12-22T23:22:00.000-08:00

" When two people love each other, nothing is more imperative and delightful than giving. "
- Guy de Maupassant -

Cinta berpijak pada perasaan sekaligus akal sehat.
Miskonsepsi pertama yang ditentang Bowman adalah manusia jatuh cinta dengan menggunakan perasaan belaka. Betul, kita jatuh cinta dengan hati. Tapi agar tidak menimbulkan kekacauan di kemudian hari, kita diharapkan untuk juga menggunakan akal sehat.

Bohong besar kalau kita bisa jatuh cinta dengan begitu saja tanpa bisa mengelak.
Yang sesungguhnya terjadi, proses jatuh cinta dipengaruhi tradisi, kebiasaan, standar, gagasan, dan deal kelompok dari mana kita berasal. Bohong besar pula kalau kita merasa boleh berbuat apa saja saat jatuh cinta, dan tidak bisa dimintai pertanggungjawaban bila perbuatan-perbuatan impulsif itu berakibat buruk suatu ketika nanti.

Kehilangan perspektif bukanlah pertanda kita jatuh cinta, melainkan sinyal kebodohan.
Cinta membutuhkan proses, Bowman juga menolak anggapan cinta bisa berasal dari pandangan pertama. "Cinta itu tumbuh dan berkembang dan merupakan emosi yang kompleks," katanya.

Untuk tumbuh dan berkembang, cinta membutuhkan waktu.
Jadi memang tidak mungkin kita mencintai seseorang yang tidak ketahuan asal-usulnya dengan begitu saja. Cinta tidak pernah menyerang tiba-tiba, tidak juga jatuh dari langit. Cinta datang hanya ketika dua individu telah berhasil melakukan orientasi ulang terhadap hidup dan memutuskan untuk memilih orang lain sebagai titik fokus baru. Yang mungkin terjadi dalam fenomena "cinta pada pandangan pertama" adalah pasangan terserang perasaan saling tertarik yang sangat kuat bahkan sampai tergila-gila. Kemudian perasaan kompulsif itu berkembang jadi cinta tanpa menempuh masa jeda. Dalam kasus "cinta pada pandangan pertama", banyak orang tidak benar-benar mencintai pasangannya, melainkan jatuh cinta pada konsep cinta itu sendiri. Sebaliknya dengan orang yang benar-benar mencinta, mereka mencintai pasangan sebagai persolinatas yang utuh.

Cinta tidak menguasai dan mengalah, tapi berbagi.
Bukan cinta namanya bila kita berkehendak mengontrol pasangan. Juga bukan cinta bila kita bersedia mengalah demi kepuasan kekasih. Orang yang mencinta tidak menganggap kekasih sebagai atasan atau bawahan, tapi sebagai pasangan untuk berbagi, juga untuk mengidentifikasi diri. Bila kita berkeinginan menguasai kekasih (membatasi pergaulannya, melarangnya beraktivitas positif, mengatur seleranya berbusana, selalu mengkritik semua kekurangannya) atau melulu mengalah (tidak protes bila kekasih berbuat buruk, tidak keberatan dinomorsekiankan), berarti kita belum siap memberi dan menerima cinta.

Cinta itu konstruktif.
Individu yang mencinta berbuat sebaik-baiknya demi kepentingan sendiri sekaligus demi (kebanggaan) pasangan. Dia berani berambisi, bermimpi konstruktif, dan merencanakan masa depan. Sebaliknya dengan yang jatuh cinta impulsif. Bukannya berpikir dan bertindak konstruktif, dia kehilangan ambisi, nafsu makan, dan minat terhadap masalah sehari-hari. Yang dipikirkan hanya kesengsaraan pribadi. Impiannya pun tak mungkin tercapai. Bahkan impian itu bisa menjadi subsitusi kenyataan.

Cinta tidak melenyapkan semua masalah.
Penganut faham romantik percaya cinta bisa mengatasi masalah. Seakan-akan cinta itu obat bagi segala penyakit (panacea). Kemiskinan dan banyak problem lain diyakini bisa diatasi dengan berbekal cinta belaka. Faktanya, cinta tidaklah seajaib itu. Cinta hanya bisa membuat sepasang kekasih berani menghadapi masalah. Permasalahan seberat apapun mungkin didekati dengan jernih agar bisa dicarikan jalan keluar. Orang yang tengah mabuk kepayang-berarti tidak benar-benar mencinta-cenderung membutakan mata saat tercegat masalah. Alih-alih bertindak dengan akal sehat, dia mengenyampingkan problem.

Cinta cenderung konstan.
Ya, cinta itu bergerak konstan. Maka kita patut curiga bila grafik perasaan kita pada kekasih turun naik sangat tajam. Kalau saat jauh kita merasa kekasih lebih hebat dibanding saat bersama, itu pertanda kita mengidealisasikannya, bukan melihatnya secara realistis. Lantas saat kembali bersama, kita memandang kekasih dengan lebih kritis dan hilanglah segala bayangan hebat itu. Sebaliknya berhati-hatilah bila kita merasa kekasih hebat saat kita berdekatan dengannya dan tidak lagi merasakan hal yang sama saat dia jauh. Hal sedemikian menandakan kita terkecoh oleh daya tarik fisik.

Cinta terhitung sehat bila saat dekat dan jauh dari pasangan, kita menyukainya dalam kadar sebanding. Cinta tidak bertumpu pada daya tarik fisik. Dalam hubungan cinta, daya tarik fisik memang penting. Tapi bahaya bila kita menyukai kekasih hanya sebatas fisik dan membencinya untuk banyak faktor lainnya. Saat jatuh cinta, kita menikmati dan memberi makna penting bagi setiap kontak fisik. Kontak fisik, ketahuilah, hanya terasa menyenangkan bila kita dan pasangan saling menyukai personalitas masing-masing. Maka bukan cinta namanya, melainkan nafsu, bila kita menganggap kontak fisik hanya memberi sensasi menyenangkan tanpa makna apa-apa. Dalam cinta, afeksi terwujud belakangan saat hubungan kian dalam. Sedang nafsu menuntut pemuasan fisik sedari permulaan.

Cinta tidak buta, tapi menerima.
Cinta itu buta? Tidak sama sekali. Orang yang mencinta melihat dan menyadari sisi buruk kekasih. Karena besarnya cinta, dia berusaha menerima dan mentolerir. Tentu ada keinginan agar sisi buruk itu membaik. Namun keinginan itu haruslah didasari perhatian dan maksud baik. Tidak boleh ada kritik kasar, penolakan, kegeraman, atau rasa jijik. Nafsulah yang buta. Meski pasangan sangat buruk, orang yang menjalin hubungan dengan penuh nafsu menerima tanpa keinginan memperbaiki. Juga meninggalkan pasangan saat keinginannya terpuaskan, hanya karena pasangan punya secuil keburukan yang sangat mungkin diperbaiki.

Cinta memperhatikan kelanjutan hubungan.
Orang yang benar-benar mencinta memperhatikan perkembangan hubungan dengan kekasih. Dia menghindari segala hal yang mungkin merusak hubungan. Sebisa mungkin dia melakukan tindakan yang bisa memperkuat, mempertahankan, dan memajukan hubungan. Orang yang sedang tergila-gila mungkin saja berusaha keras menyenangkan kekasih. Namun usaha itu semata-mata dilakukan agar kekasih menerimanya, sehingga tercapailah kepuasan yang diincar. Orang yang mencinta menyenangkan pasangan untuk memperkuat hubungan.

Cinta berani melakukan hal menyakitkan.
Selain berusaha menyenangkan kekasih, orang yang sungguh-sungguh mencinta memiliki perhatian, keprihatinan, pengertian, dan keberanian untuk melakukan hal yang tidak disukai kekasih demi kebaikan. Seperti seorang ibu yang berkata "tidak" saat anaknya meminta es krim, padahal sedang flu.

Begitulah kita semua seharusnya bersikap pada pasangan....

A pasSing ThOught

2005-12-22T20:25:00.000-08:00

Lagi males mau ngapa2in deh..ga pengen beli apa2, gak pengen kemana-kemana, gak pengen ngobrol sama siapa2...uuu lagi kenapa ya?kayaknya segala sesuatunya melambat.
Kerjaan sih ada aja yang harus diselesaikan dan gosip2 juga gak pernah berhenti untuk dibahas:P. Tapi ya itu tadi lagi males aja sama semuanya.

Ada yang pernah bilang kalau past and future itu sebenarnya gak ada. Kita hidup just for this very moment.Jadi yang sudah lewat gak usah disesali atau dikenang lagi dan yang akan datang gak usah dikuatirkan. Hmm..wish i cud think that way..

Pernah ada temen yang bilang andai kita bisa milih untuk amnesia tapi hanya untuk hal-hal yang menyakitkan aja...hahha..wot a wonderful idea..tapi pasti kita bakal antri- dan gak dapat giliran- di RS yang bisa kayak gitu :P, ya gak sih? semua orang pasti punya bad memories yang pengennya di lupakan.

another thing yang gue ingat pagi ini juga adalah tentang seorang teman yang bilang kalau kita gak bakal ketemu orang yang sempurna (karena emang gak ada kan? :P). Yang ada adalah orang-orang yang berusaha menjadi lebih baik. Kita jangan pernah berharap orang itu bisa jadi sempurna ketika dia stay sama kita. Atau sebaliknya kita jangan berfikir kita akan bisa jadi sempurna ketika kita sama orang itu. Yang ada cuma menjadi lebih baik bersama-sama.Ciieey..
another thing juga adalah kita jangan terlalu berharap ketemu orang yang lebih baik dari kita. Kenapa gak berpikir bahwa sebagian 'reason' kita di dunia ini adalah untuk memberi 'arti' dan berguna untuk orang lain. Dengan keberadaan kita, kita akan bisa buat dunia ini lebih indah dan hidup seseorang menjadi lebih berarti. Maksudnya kita jangan egois hanya mikirin diri kita sendiri dan keuntungan kita sendiri aja , gitu loh.

anyway im trying to stop believing that i cud achieve all of my dreams. hiks..i mean some things are just not meant for me. ihikks..expect less, see wot'll happen ajah.

Huufff...sebenarnya gue tipe orang yang no regret. Ketika buat keputusan gue akan insya allah merasa yakin bahwa itu adalah sesuatu yang harus dilakukan dan gue gak akan pernah menyesal. Tapi ternyata eh ternyata ada beberapa hal yang gue sesali.
gue menyesal pernah mengatakan ini itu
gue menyesal pernah melakukan ini itu
gue menyesal gak pernah mengatakan atau melakukan ini itu
ah jadi sebel..tapi gue yakin mungkin gue menyesal hanya dan hanya sekarang. days, weeks, months or years later i might be grateful untuk semua hal yang pernah gue sesali ituh..

wish everything just getting better...

ah raney kenapa sih wishing terus...hehhe..

TakEr And GiVeR

2005-12-20T19:17:00.000-08:00

Some people say that, among people types, we cud categorize people into two types, Taker and Giver.
Based on its literal meaning, taker is someone that who always take anything for his/her own benefit.Parasite (is this the right spelling :P) Giver is someone who always nice and kind to others. Taker might be villains in movies and giver is the hero :P. Yet, it cud be wrong. Maybe that's not that clear.I mean, people is not always be bad or good at all times. But, well...most of the time i meet that kind of people. Either he/she really is a good or bad :P
Anyway, speaking of examples...Taker cud be someone that want to be close to us whenever she/he (only) need us. Someone who doesnt really care to others' happiness or misery.A super dupper egoist. A person who always feel like he/she the only total 'victim' so that he/she needs others' affection and help.A person who feels that he/she the most pathetic person on earth so she/he have a right to do somthing evil.and we sud compromise with everything they do. Daaagh... wots the difference between them and terorists?
Giver might be someone like my mom..Hmm...I mean a person who wud do anything to others, a person who does good things heart and soul and not expecting anything in return. A person who repay evil with kindness. A real good person. That's explain evertything ryte?
To sum up, We hardly give our judgement to others,leave alone ourselves hehhehe..I actually cudnt put myself in one of category thoroughly. I mean, sometimes i do bad things and sometimes i do good things to others. My Self defense is :I do bad things just becouse i didnt know wot's the best thing to do to them. So, in turn, they think that im the villain..the taker type.
I once joined somthing like self help training with another 16 friends by the way...At the end of the training we sud vote to peers that they are the taker or the giver. I got 8 votes for taker and 8 votes for giver. Meaning that im in balace wekekeke....

ClosEr to BeliEvinG

2005-12-20T02:44:00.000-08:00

I am closer to believing
Than I ever was before
On the crest of this elation
Must I crash upon the shore
And with the driftwood of
acquaintance
Light the fire to love once more
I am wind blown... I am times

To be closer to believing
To be just a breath away
On the death of inspiration
I would buy back yesterday
But there’s no crueller illusion
There’s no sharper coin to pay
As I reach out... it slips away

From the opium of custom
To the ledges of extremes
Don’t believe it till you’ve held it
Life is seldom what it seems
But lay your heart upon the table
And in the shuffling of dreams
Remember who on earth you are

I need me
You need you
We want us

~ Excerpt from "Closer To Believing"